I'll be Waiting
by practicalamanda
Summary: Five years down the line and Kurt and Blaine are the best of friends, but they never made it back to being in a romantic relationship. Warning for mentions of depression. A 4.04 reaction fic based on I'll be Waiting by Adele. Prompted by: darrencrissandraspberrytwist s. I suppose you could read this without listening to the song, but I obviously recommend it.


**A 4.04 reaction fic based on **_**I'll be Waiting**_** by Adele. ****Prompted by: ****darrencrissandraspberrytwist s. I suppose you could read this without listening to the song, but I obviously recommend it.**

**Warning for mentions of depression.**

Kurt was stressed. It had been a long time since Kurt had been this stressed. He was no stranger to it. He had a demanding job and an even more demanding personal need to appear perfect: perfect hair, perfect clothes, perfect events. Things hadn't gone as planned for Kurt in his career. When it came time to re-apply for NYADA his first year in New York, he had come to the conclusion that his dreams had changed for good. He wanted Vogue to be his present and his future.

And even that hadn't gone entirely as planned. Almost a year into his internship at , a spot had opened up in the event planning department. It wasn't exactly what Kurt had wanted, but it was a promotion and he was able to negotiate his salary so that he was paid a little less, but got a free ride to design school. And once again, his dreams changed. It wasn't as glamorous as being a fashion designer or a broadway star, but Kurt was good at it, really good at it, and the rush he got from putting on a spectacular affair turned out to be just as good as the rush he got from performing.

And that's what landed him here, running around New York City, frantically attempting to put the last minute touches on Vogue's annual Thanksgiving gala. It was a huge charity event that went on every year and for the first time in his four year career at Vogue, he was totally in charge. He was almost done for the day, though and he could go home, put his feet up, and drink cheap wine while watching crappy TV with his room mate and best friend.

Oh, that was the other thing that didn't go quite as planned. If you had asked Kurt in high school what his life would be like after he got out of college, he would have told you that he would be married, or at least engaged, to Blaine and living in a cozy one bedroom, maybe in Greenwich Village. He wasn't totally wrong, he did live with Blaine, but it was in an airy two bedroom on the upper west side in Murray Hill and they weren't married or engaged, they were simply the best of friends.

It was almost five years ago at this point that Blaine had taken that unexpected trip to New York to give Kurt the fateful news that ended their romantic relationship. Blaine had cheated and Kurt was heart broken. For weeks, they didn't speak. At the time, Kurt feared they would never talk again, but then he got a letter, addressed to him in Blaine's loopy script.

_My Dearest Kurt,_

_I'm writing to you now, not as an ex-lover, not as someone who desperately wants you back in his life (though I do), but I'm writing to you as a person, a person that really needs a best friend right now. There is some stuff I need to tell you and I'm not offering it as any type of excuse. There is and will never be an excuse for what I did to you, what I did to us, but there is one possible explanation that I can offer you and you deserve to know what it is._

Blaine had gone on to explain that he had been in such a terrible way after they had parted, that Brittany had urged him to go talk to Ms. Pillsbury. After a few counseling sessions, a little bit of research, and a lot of crying, she had determined that in all likelihood, Blaine was clinically depressed and had been for a long time. _"Sometimes, when really good things are happening in our lives, it can cover up the depression. That doesn't mean it's not there and with Kurt gone, it can come back in full __force_,_" _She had explained to him.

The first thing Kurt had done after receiving the letter was look up depression. Of course, he had heard the word before and had a vague idea of what it meant, but he wanted to understand. He wanted to know as much as possible before he contacted Blaine. Kurt had been sad before, but he had never been depressed. And suddenly, everything made sense. It didn't excuse his actions and it still hurt like hell, but Blaine was right, it was an explanation.

That letter had made two things very clear for Kurt. One, was that he would eventually be able to forgive Blaine. Two, was that Blaine needed Kurt to be his friend more than anything right now. Maybe they would be together again some day, but for now, Blaine just needed a best friend to help him through one of the toughest things that he'd ever faced in his young life.

But it was five years down the road and they were still just best friends. With the help of Kurt, a little medication, and a lot of therapy, Blaine was in a much better place now. He still had good days and bad days, but he was no longer hiding all of his problems behind an over confident mask, he now had a great group of close friend that he really felt he could trust, and he had ended his habit of self destructive behavior when he was feeling worthless.

Their relationship, however, had never made it back to being what it once was, a fact that baffled most, because with the exception of their separate bedrooms, they were basically an old married couple. They had 'friend date' nights every Friday, they regularly cooked and ate dinner with each other, and though Kurt would blame it on being a workaholic, and Blaine would just shrug and say that he's only just feeling like he's in a good enough place for something like that, both of them had suspiciously non-existent dating lives.

0000000000

"Something smells good in here!" Kurt called as he slipped off his shoes and coat in the entryway of their shared apartment. Kurt walked into the kitchen and saw Blaine bent over the oven pulling out a lasagna.

"I knew you'd be having a crazy day today, so I made your favorite," he said, grinning as he placed the steaming pan in the middle of the already set kitchen table. Blaine had graduated with a degree in social work from NYU and was now working as a school guidance counselor. He still did gigs on the side, though. In fact, he was providing music for Kurt's event that weekend.

"It looks great!" Kurt said, grabbing a bottle of merlot from the shelf and popping the cork. "You always know just what I need," he added. Placing a wine glass at each place and filling them both.

"I do my best," Blaine said, giving a little bow and sitting down at the table. "I even DVRed the _Top Chef_ marathon that was on earlier today. We are in for a night of fun, good sir."

Kurt laughed and took a portion of pasta and salad, "I've been meaning to catch up on the new season. Things have just been so crazy with work and everything. Wait until you see this party, though Blaine. I think it's going to be one to remember," Kurt said, taking a bite of his food. "Oh, and don't forget to show me what your planning on wearing. You're part of the staff for this event, you have to look flawless."

It was Blaine's turn to laugh, "don't worry. You will have full veto power as always."

It was these moments that were simultaneously the best and the worst for Kurt. He loved their easy friendship. He loved that they could practically read each other's minds. And, he loved that Blaine was always there for him no matter what. But it was these moments when Kurt had to physically stop himself from leaning over to kiss Blaine lightly on the mouth or reaching out to twine their fingers together. They acted almost like a married couple, but they weren't a couple and sometimes, that hurt more than Kurt was even willing to admit to himself.

0000000000

Blaine was nervous. It had been a long time since Blaine had been this nervous. His set had gone well. The party had gone even better. Kurt had truly outdone himself this time. Everything was perfect from the lighting all the way down to the specialty carpeting he had brought in just for the event. He was nervous, but he knew he had to do this. He had made a promise to himself a long time ago that no matter how long it took, he would get better and he would get Kurt back. It had been five long years, but Kurt deserved someone that was healthy enough to take care of him the way he deserved to be taken care of. Things weren't perfect, but Blaine was ready. He was ready to get the love of his life back.

The first part of his set had been relatively tame. He did a mix of some old jazz standards, current indie tunes, and he even sprinkled in a few originals, but now it was time to go in for the big finish.

He cleared his throat and addressed the crowd for the first time that night, "I just wanted to thank you all for having me here tonight. I had a great time," Blaine said into the microphone. "I have one song left for you and it's really special to me. I'm singing it for the most important person in my life and he happens to be here today, so um...this is for you."

_Hold me closer one more time_

_Say that you love me in your last goodbye_

_Please forgive me for my sins_

_Yes, I swam dirty waters but you pushed me in_

_I've seen your face under every sky_

_Over every border and on every line_

_You know my heart more than I do_

_We were the greatest, me and you_

_But we had time against us and miles between us_

_The heavens cried, I know I left you speechless_

_But now the sky has cleared and it's blue_

_And I see my future in you_

0000000000

"Blaine?" Kurt called when he finally got in that night. Kurt had to stay until the bitter end, making sure that everything was cleaned up properly. He hadn't had the opportunity to catch Blaine before he left, but in a way, he had been glad to have the extra time to think.

"You're back," Blaine said simply, from where he was seated on the couch, clearly waiting for Kurt to get in.

"And you're still up," Kurt said, making his way over to sit beside Blaine on the couch. "That song you sang tonight. It was for me?" It was phrased that way, but they both knew that it wasn't a question. Blaine just nodded, "it was beautiful," Kurt said, looking Blaine in the eye and daring to rest his hand on the other man's knee.

There was a lot to say. There had been years of hidden feelings and things left unsaid, but all Blaine could get out in the moment was a whispered, "I've missed you, Kurt." They had seen each other practically every day for the past four years, but they both knew what Blaine meant.

"I've missed you, too, so much," Kurt replied squeezing Blaine's knee.

"Do you think...do you think we could try being us again?" Blaine asked moving his whole body so they were fully facing each other. "I don't want to go another day without being able to call you mine. You're everything to me, Kurt. You always have been."

Instead of an answer, Kurt pulled Blaine in for a long searing kiss. They're lips fit together so perfectly, so smoothly, that it almost felt like no time had passed since the last time they'd done it, "you have no idea how long and how badly I've wanted to do that," Kurt said when he finally pulled away.

"I think I have an idea," Blaine said, pulling Kurt in for more kisses. "This time, I'm never letting you go."

**I want to disclaim that I'm not an expert in mental illness. I only have personal experience to go on. All I can say is that I've never identified with a character as strongly as I identify with Blaine and I did my best! Hope you enjoyed!**


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